Three weeks into the New Year...

And I've made progress on one of my three resolutions. I am aiming for eight hours of sleep a night, and am often getting them! My least slept night (barring the frequent panicked wake-ups the night of my 5 a.m. shift) was a mere seven hours, a vast improvement from my regular six-ish of before Christmas. And, I'm going to bed in plenty of time to get my eight hours, so I'm actually moderately rested most days!

I feel this is a vast improvement over my resolutions of last year, which are long forgotten (but may have simply been surviving the last two terms of school and getting a job, which I did).

I've also ramped up my hunt for a real, reliable job with vacation and the like. I've "cold emailed" several publications, along with several people I know in the industry, while still prowling the job boards daily -- all while keeping my fingers crossed of course.

I've also been tempted by two internship possibilities. One is far-fetched and already ruled out, it's in Kitchener and it requires a car, which basically puts it out of the running, but I love the idea of it -- reporting for a daily for a few months would look great on my resume. The other obstacle is that it runs through August, which, as many of you may know, happens to require a bit of time off for an important milestone -- my wedding -- and interns don't get the choice vacation days (if any). If it was in Toronto, and didn't require a car, I'd maybe look into extending it into September to fulfill the time while still getting the time off, but the other factors all contribute to strike it out. Plus, I'm still having trouble getting around in Ontario. They'd send me for coffee and I'd end up in Hamilton calling James and asking him to map out a way back for me on his blackberry. Not good.

The second is slightly more realistic, but I'm still uncertain enough that I haven't applied. Toronto Life, a very well respected magazine for you non-Torontonians, has a four-month internship program, which appears to be fairly flexible with start and end dates (i.e. I could start in March, or June or whenever -- if I got accepted). It would be planning, researching, writing, and an introduction into the world of magazine publishing -- something I am not particularly familiar with, but do find quite interesting. The downside to said internship, were I able to get it, is that the whole thing pays a stipend of $2,000. Yes, that's $500 a month, which would cover rent but not much else -- certainly not bills or student loans.

Odds are I'd be able to make more working at the CBC, if I'm willing to risk it and continue with this crazy, unpredictable schedule and the lurch in my stomach each morning when I wake up in the morning expecting a phone call to tear me out of my slumber into the cold, cruel world to cover for a writer sick in Manitoba or PEI or who knows where. Even when I'm not working for them, I'm perpetually preparing myself to be available "just in case", and that's a rather rough way to get by. But, currently at least, it pays the bills and is in the field I want -- online news and features.

The other issue in all these decisions is the election factor. If I depart from political news and an election is called (which I certainly believe to be a possibility, maybe a 50 per cent chance) I'll feel like I'm missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

So, I'm currently still hunting down that elusive job with vacation -- that's a decision that would be quite simple! -- but am definitely looking at other options.

And, of course, this week James has been away in San Francisco, so I've been left alone with my thoughts and a very cranky bunny. These factors (more the aloneless than the rabbit though) lead me to my third resolution -- worrying less. That's posing a bit more of a challenge. I'm a worrier. But, isn't admitting it the first step to recovery?

When I do find myself worrying I try to distract myself too (the oven in our apartment is the cleanest it's ever been. Admittedly, it needed a good scrub, but now it really sparkles!) and I figure with only three weeks into the new year, an occasional relapse is inevitable anyway. But hey, at least I'm trying!